NAMM Show

I went to the NAMM show last weekend and in addition to seeing a lot of very cool gear, I picked up a couple of Christian Worship magazines. It's interesting that 3 of the articles in one of the magazines were written by people I am acquainted with. That doesn't reflect directly at all on me except to show that I have had the good fortune to rub elbows over the years with some pretty accomplished people. That's Cool!

Most of the information contained in the magazines was of little value to me in my role as a bass player. However, there were two articles that spoke directly to me, especially at the point where I find myself today - with no home church to do my ministry, and no visible hope for one in the near future.

The first dealt with the "Bass Player Psyche". In it, Gary Lunn says, "Being blessed to have played with some of the finest musicians in the world (and some not-so fine), I have figured out that I almost always play more inspired parts whenever I am playing with inspiring musicians - and especially drummers. If I am not playing with a drummer who will lead with authority, steadiness, and consistency, it creates a struggle, because the roles are reversed. The added tension and added responsibility costs the band a right, solid foundation and everything becomes a challenge." He added, "Bass players have a sensitivity and perception of time (rhythm) unlike anyone else's in the band. They also have a nature to follow unlike any other band member." At this time in my life where I occasionally get to play with some of the finest drummers in the world, I really identify with his observations. The tension and struggle he talks about is so distracting and can be very discouraging.

Which brings me to the second article, dealing with "Building Teams". Heidi Todd relates her experience of being invited to be part of the worship team at the age of twelve. She shares, "The first worship leader to seek me out challenged my walk with God. The whole team kept prayer journals. We had accountability within the team and our leader. We were expected to come prepared and with the right attitude. He was committed to prayer, being in the word, fasting, prayer, and prayer. What a great beginning. It was natural to assume all worship teams were like that and I came away with a new level of spiritual discipline and work ethic."

I have to admit my first real worship team experience was similar to that. Unfortunately it wasn't at my home church. The desire of my heart is to be involved in an experience like that in my home church. Today that seems unlikely. But my hope rests in the promise of Luke 1:37, "Nothing is impossible with God."

"Imitate, Assimilate, Innovate"

In response to some recent dramatic happenings in my life, I have been reminded of the importance of the "process" in coming to some level of competence in any area of life. As I pondered my own "process", the words in the title above came to me in a clear way this morning. In my vocation (dental x-ray) I am considered by some to be an innovator. As a musician, I am still very much an imitator and am in the long slow process of assimilating the information and skill that I have been exposed to over these many years.

Recently a close friend introduced me as a "Renaissance Man". I actually had to research what that was to determine if I should accept or decline the title. I determined that in general terms, I guess am something of a Renaissance Man. However, in the purest terms, I am at best a "wannabe" and at worst an imposter. However, I am honored to be seen by some in that light and accept it as a fairly accurate description of me in the most general sense.

As a person who dabbles with some success in both the arts and the sciences, I can clearly see several people in my life who were key in establishing me on these paths. The first was my boss and mentor, Jim Everett. He brought me under his wing, taught me, trained me, nurtured me, and gave me great examples to "imitate" as I was learning and growing in the field of dental radiography. As I moved to the "assimilate" phase, he was always there to direct me, challenge me, catch me, or even let me fall. Without the valuable experience of the many years working as an apprentice under such a master craftsman, it is clear that the labels "Innovator" or "Renaissance Man" would not enter peoples minds as a description of me.

In a similar manner, my main influences in the arts were Walt Harrah and Stan Endicott. Walt was the first real worship pastor that I worked with as I began my journey as a bass player in the early 90's. He, like Jim Everett, gave me much to imitate, and allowed me to learn my craft literally at the expense of himself, the close friends that made up his worship band, and his congregation (who he served so selflessly.) Walt always gave clear instruction and was gentle in his correction. He knew what he wanted and it was always easy to follow him as he led with passion and confidence. He also understood the value of prayer and study, insisting on 30 minutes of spiritual preparation prior to any worship service, even if it meant cutting the rehearsal short. Walt was truly an innovator, as more than once he came up to the stage following a message and passed out a hand written chart that he had quickly created in response to what he had just heard preached. I will remember forever the joy he (and we) experienced in hearing one of his compositions played for the first time by his friends and co-laborers in the worship team. The years I spent as an apprentice working under Walt were invaluable in my pursuit of musical competence.

Stan on the other hand, was very much the opposite of Walt. As an innovator in a completely difference sense, Stan was never one to "play the ink". He was a master at leading the band (and the congregation) from section to section in an almost free form style. More than once he would turn to us with a smile and a "thumb up" indicating he wanted to take the song up a step. On the fly, the team he had assembled would follow his lead, take it up notch, and watch the energy soar to a new level. Knowing that he had that level of confidence in me to follow his lead was an incredible gift he gave me many times. He also had the amazing ability to simply look over at me and communicate with his eyes the words "you're doing great!". I miss working with Stan.

I also miss working with Walt, and with Jim. The 3 of them have left their mark on me in more ways than I can describe on this page. Yet that mark has been critical in helping me move from imitator, to assimilator (is that a word?) and in some respects, innovator (of sorts.) It's humbling to look back at the Hand of God on my life, and it's equally humbling to look forward to how God may want to use what I've imitated, assimilated, and possibly innovated, for His purposes and His glory.

Bass Playing

The most recent issue of Bass Player Magazine (Holiday 2008) has some amazing quotes that I desperately need to get written down. Some of them have been literally transforming (#1 for example) while others simply inspiring. Either way, here they are.

"...when five people are having a conversation, usually one person speaks at a time while the other four listen. When five people are playing music in a conversational manner, everyone's speaking and listening all at once. You have to listen more than you play to make sure what you' re "saying" fits in with the conversation as a whole and provides both relevance and consonance." "...music occasionally allows itself to be channeled by certain members of society for the betterment of the whole." - Richard C. Cushing, Memphis, TN

"The bassist is the lighthouse AND the sea." - Joe Iaquinto

"...bass players have the unique opportunity to live inside the song: really listening to what's going on, reacting to the chords, applying thought, partnering with the drummer." - Steve Peete, Chandler, AZ

"I know very few bass players now who have weak personalities. Cats playing bass are pretty outspoken human beings!" - Will Lee

"(in the next 20 years)... an era of threadbare culture, already descending, will worsen. Case in point: the appallingly corrupt American Idol and Making the Band (where there is no "band" and the "singers" - few if any of whom can sing without the intervention of AutoTune - are clearly unconcerned about music only the thrusting asses and spastec dance steps) point to a future that will worsen before it improves." - Anthony Jackson

"We need to communicate a need for sincerety, depth, and originality, and we can do this by simply being those things." - Tal Wilkenfeld

The "Desire of my heart"?

Yesterday was a great day at our church. We started a new "band-led" contemporary worship service, and I am in the band. The worship elder came up to me before the service and commented that we have waited 7 1/2 years for this. I thought to myself, "I have been waiting a lot longer than that." Doing the math, I determined that I started playing Saturday nights at Irvine Presbyterian Church about 15 years ago, because there was no contemporary worship at Trinity. In the years since then, I have played at many MANY churches, looking for a place where Martha & I could worship and minister in the unique ways that God has gifted us. I have spent many MANY quiet times questioning God on how he puts the desire and passion in our hearts in the first place, then he promises to give us the "desire of our heart", then he delays so long in actually giving us that desire. The "desire of my heart" that I've articulated many times is to be in an "effective and meaningful worship ministry in my home church". It seems I may finally be on the brink of experiencing the fulfillment of that desire after over 15 years. I don't want to get too excited but I have to admit that yesterday was an exciting day for me. I am very hopeful.

Now, the real question is, do I really know my heart and what it desires? I've heard it said many times, "Be careful what you ask for because you might just get it." Lord have mercy!

We are all in this together!

“In the long run, there can be no real joy for anybody until there is joy finally for us all.” Frederick Buechner

One morning last week, Dana Charter (who works for my good friend Matt Montgomery) stopped by my lab with coffee and donuts. He had a few questions about my digital camera and since it’s the one I recommended they buy, he thought I might be able to help him out. As we were chatting, my first patient arrived, so I started the photos on him while I continued my conversation with Dana. After a few minutes I felt a bit uncomfortable that I was ignoring my patient so I explained to him what was going on, and I introduced Dana to him as a “competitor”. Before I could qualify that his lab is 20 miles away so we’re really NOT competitors, Dana interrupted with the declaration, “I’m offended by that! We are not competitors, we are colleagues!” I smiled sheepishly, acknowledged my mistake, and we continued on with our “collegial” discussion.

Jump back in time with me. It’s about 30 years ago. My lab was located about 10 miles south in Newport Beach. It never really was a successful venture and eventually the owner moved it to the area around Huntington Beach, where he thought it could do better. Shortly after the move, a group of Newport Beach doctors decided to fill the void by opening a lab for their patients, but soon realized that there just wasn’t enough business in the area to support it. So they decided to offer “deep discounts” to patients who would be willing to drive the long distance to Newport Beach. I started getting calls from patients and doctors asking me to “match” the Newport price, which I declined to do. I don’t mind a little competition, I just want it to occur on a level playing field. The patients from Newport Beach won’t come to my lab to save money because their doctors refer them to the lab where they are financially invested. Since my doctors have no financial interest in my lab, they are tempted to send patients where it the cheapest.

Needless to say, this concerned me. I have always felt “collegial” to the labs that are around me and have no problem sending a patient to lab that’s closer to their work or home. But this situation with Newport had moved us from colleagues to competitors. I looked into what I could do to “level” the playing field but discovered I had very few options. I would sigh when patient would come in with a Newport slip, or when a doctor would call about a patient’s x-rays only to discover they had gone to the Newport lab. Time went by, the doctors divested themselves and eventually the lab was sold to a gal I know and considered a colleague. Relieved, I hoped that she would see the “error” of their “dual tier” fee policy and do the right thing. Unfortunately she didn’t, she couldn’t.

Not long ago, another lab moved into her area, giving her some stiff competition. As the economy in Orange County lagged, she eventually had to relocate to another area. The new location did not solve her financial problems and yesterday was her last day of business. I stopped by her lab today to see if she had anything for sale that might be useful to me. When I left, I shook her hand and told her that I was sorry things didn’t work out for her. But I wasn’t really sorry. Inside I was happy. After all these years I was vindicated. But why did I feel bad for her? Why was it so hard to enjoy this “victory”? I remembered the scene in the movie “You’ve Got Mail” where the female character verbally rips into her competitor, then experiences the regret that often goes along with verbal outbursts. I remembered the line from that movie, “It’s not personal, it’s business!” Even though my competition had been defeated, I felt bad that a friend had failed, had been hurt, and would continue to hurt over the next weeks, months, even years.

As I write this, I’m wondering if there isn’t a way we can compete with each other and still remain colleagues. Many of us succeed in doing this. But some don’t. The rules of business don’t always mesh cleanly with the rules of collegiality. I do feel bad for my colleague, the same way I think an athlete feels bad when their arch rival forfeits an event due to an injury. It’s nice to win but it feels so much better to win in a fair fight. And when you lose in a fair fight, it motivates you to work harder, do better, come back to fight another day. In an unfair fight, there are no winners, only losers.

The quote at the beginning of this story is from my favorite author. His words ran over and over in my mind today as I drove home from my colleague’s now defunct lab. We are all in this together. In the long run….

Do I Want People to Like Me?

The head of the music department at Irvine Valley College (where I play bass in the Jazz Ensemble) sent the following email yesterday. "Colleagues, The 5th annual IVC Jazz Picnic was a smashing success. The band played better than they ever have for the picnic, the guest ensemble was terrific." This was a very encouraging word with only one exception...I didn't play for the concert! Because of Tina's college graduation, I had to miss the concert and the director found a sub for me. I'm pleased that the concert went well and I hope the reason they did so well was because they worked hard over the last few weeks of the semester. But the thought that nags me is that this is virtually the same band that played all year EXCEPT for me. Was the substitute bass player the reason they did so well? Was my absence a catalyst for their excellence? Or was this just a nice encouraging note to the band that would have read the same even if I had played? There's no way to know.

I've been reading a book by Donald Miller (author of Blue Like Jazz) and in the chapter I read yesterday, he answered an interview question about why he wrote his most recent book with the following statement, "I am broken... I like to write... but basically, subconsciously, I just want people to like me." Is that statement true of me? Do I play music because I want people to like me? I know I am broken...I like to play music...I want people to like my playing...if they like my playing does that mean they like me? I know I've often felt out of place around many of the musicians I play with. Most of them are professionals with experiences that only happen to me in my dreams. But I've always felt my life experience validates me and that I have experiences in work, home, family, faith, etc. that they may never have. So I try to make up for my lack of professional musical experience by trying to connect with people on a more relational level. I want people to accept me, to value me, because of who I am as a person and not hold my lack of musical professionalism against me. I guess I DO want people to like me.

After hearing Miller's response to his question, the interviewer leaned back in his chair, paused for a moment and said, "You aren't alone".

A Week in the Life of a Volunteer Musician

My friend Ron Kobayashi recently did a piece in the OC Register (4/13/08) on a day in the life of a jazz musician entitled "A Good Gig, If You Can Swing It". He walked us through a typical day in his life as he worked to balance the "music part of the music business" with the business part. After reading his story, I thought about my life as I work to balance my day job with my volunteer musician schedule. Since I am currently in the "spring musical" season (a particularly busy time for me), I decided to do my own piece, "A Week In The Life of a Volunteer Musician".

In my day job, I am fortunate to work a 40 hour week, 8-5, Monday-Friday. I live fairly close to work so I don’t usually have more than a 30 minute commute each way. My work week began as usual last Monday (4/7) awakened by the alarm at 5:45 am. I generally hit the snooze button once or twice, but try to make a habit of getting out of bed by 6:00. After my shower and shave, I head downstairs to check my email, grab a cup of coffee, and sit down for my "quiet time". As a volunteer musician, I primarily play bass in Christian worship bands. Since I can be considered a "worship leader", it is important that my heart be properly aligned with the God that I help lead people to worship, so I spend around 30 minutes each day pondering inspirational materials, reading 1-2 chapters in the Bible, writing a page or two in my journal, and praying over a list of people and events that are important to me. At some point during those 30 minutes, my wife Martha joins me in the family room with her coffee, Bible and journal, and we share part of our "quiet time" together. At 7:00 we move to the kitchen for a quick breakfast. This is a tradition we have enjoyed since our children were very young and my wife was a "stay at home" mom. Our kids are grown now and Martha leaves for work shortly after I do each day but we still "break fast" together every weekday at 7:00 am.

My work day goes uneventfully (as it often does), and I head for home around 5:30 pm. After a quick dinner, I say goodby to Martha and head off for a rehearsal with the "Edsels", a rock and roll band that is preparing for an event this Friday. Things go well, I get home around 10:00 pm and head up to bed. I need my 8 hours of sleep, especially this week!

Fortunately, this particular week has no Tuesday evening rehearsals. I share bass duties with 2 other musicians at Saddleback Church on Saturday nights but because I am playing a musical at Trinity this Saturday night, I am not on the schedule at Saddleback and don’t need to attend the Tuesday evening rehearsal. I enjoy a relaxing dinner, some time in front of the TV (I should practice for the upcoming musicals but tonight I’m lazy) and I head for bed by 10:00 pm. Wednesday is also an off night. We go out after work, grab some Mexican food (at a waitress service restaurant) and enjoy a quiet evening together. Before going to bed, I load my car with all the gear I’ll need for tomorrow. I have a lot going on over the next few days and don’t want to forget anything.

Thursday starts off like every other work day, but changes quickly. After breakfast, I head off to Saddleback Church where I play for the Thursday morning Women’s Bible Study. We rehearse our music, play from 9:15 to around 9:40, and I leave just as the morning speaker begins her message. Usually I head off to work but today is different. I have an 11:00 am meeting at Trinity so I decide to drop in at a local hospital to visit a friend who has just had surgery. I spend about 20 minutes with him, arrive a few minutes late for my meeting, take care of business there and head down the freeway to be ready to work by 1:00 pm. After work I meet Martha for dinner near my office then head off down the freeway to my jazz class. I play bass in the Irvine Valley College Jazz Ensemble and we rehearse from 7-10 pm on Thursday nights. Tonight goes well as we prepare for our concert in early May. I get home a little later than usual, leave my car loaded with gear, and head up to bed. Tomorrow starts a very busy weekend.

After work on Friday, Martha and I meet for another quick dinner, this time near Trinity so that I will be at church in time for the 6:00 pm dress rehearsal of a musical that will be presented that weekend. After rehearsal I leave my gear set up because Saturday morning from 9 am - noon, I have another rehearsal in the same place for a different musical that will be presented in two weeks. After the Saturday morning rehearsal, I inform the drummer that I will not be able to make the Edsels rehearsal that afternoon. I have to go home and clean my pool because the "Santa Ana winds" have left it a mess! Fortunately, I was able to get my neighbor’s gardener to do may lawns today so only the pool needs my attention. After the pool is cleaned, I catch up on a little reading and go upstairs for a quick shower before I head off to Trinity for the 5:30 call time for tonight’s production. There are a few glitches and unfortunately the band’s performance is not as good as it could be. Tomorrow will be better. A late dinner, a little TV and it’s off to bed. Sundays I get to sleep in a little but need to be ready to play for the morning worship by 7:45. I play 2 services, get lunch with Martha and some friends, grab a short nap in the afternoon and am in my place ready to play by 5:30 that night. The show goes much better! Everyone is happy, I clean up my gear, say goodbye, and head home for another late dinner.

Laying in bed on Sunday night, I ponder the upcoming week and review my schedule... Monday night the Edsels rehearse again, Tuesday night has a Saddleback rehearsal, Wednesday night I need to work on the "Eden" show that starts in less than a week, Thursday is Saddleback in the morning and IVC Jazz Ensemble in the evening, Friday night is the Edsels gig, Saturday morning the PRES Club plays the Trinity Pancake Breakfast with Ron Kobayashi (that will be fun!), clean the pool and do the yards in the afternoon, Saddleback in the evening (I think I’ll trade with someone so that I can have the night off), Trinity again on Sunday morning and the "Eden" show starts tech week on Sunday evening. I fall asleep thankful that I have a great day job as well as a very loving and supportive wife who allows me to keep such a busy music calendar.

Saddleback Church in Lake Forest

After many years of playing at Saddleback, I finally got a picture of me on stage! Playing flute is Greg Vail, Mike Pelzman is on keyboards, and Jimi Seville is in the back on B3. Not seen are Drew Hester on drums, Blake Aaron on guitar, and Brandon Muchow leading.

Christmas Morning!

Christmas has the ability to bring lots of thoughts to mind and this seems like as good a place as any to record some of this year's thoughts. One that has haunted me a little the last few days is why I did not get called to play at Saddleback Church? I'm not sure but I think I have played at one or more Christmas Eve services there for quite a few years. I have great memories of the candlelight service watching the room go from relative darkness to a blazing glow from the thousands of personal candles. This year, we only worshipped at Trinity (which is also a change from the last few years of visiting Mariners on Christmas Eve eve) and the candle lighting experience was not as moving viewed from the pews. I guess my relationship with Saddleback is slipping away (has slipped away) which makes me very sad. I have many good friends there and I miss them.

~~~

Our pastor has been preaching a series based on Dickens "A Christmas Carol" so we watched the George C. Scott version on the 23rd. It was well worth watching, especially in light of the sermon series. What struck me in the end were the three steps Scrooge spelled out at his nephew's home on Christmas morning.

• Confession (Christmas Past) - He faced his error of commission and asked for forgiveness. This is certainly the first step in repentance. How good am I at facing my mistakes? How good am I at asking for forgiveness?
• Correction (Christmas Present) - He faced an error of omission and corrected it. He officially met his nephew's wife and they became personally acquainted for the very first time. How willing am I to step out and face my fears, take steps I've failed to take in the past, do things I've neglected to do, make acquaintances and burst bubbles of stereotype and prejudice?
• Commission (Christmas Future) - He set out on a new life course by accepting the invitation to join them for dinner. Like commissioning a group of people for a trip or venture or some special service, he set out in a new direction, one that would forever change his life and the lives of many people around him. How willing am I do turn and go a new direction? I pilot a HUGE ship. How easy is it to change the course of this ship? How supportive will the crew and passengers be? Does their support matter? In light of my Personal Mission Statement (To be a wise and faithful steward), should I even consider a change of direction?

Certainly this story and the recent sermon series has given me much to think about. As I move into 2008 I pray that God will give me a fresh gift if faith, and eyes to see His hand of providence moving in the glove of the history of my life.

It's Been a Long Time!!!

Wow it's been a long time since I've posted something here. It's not like I've been doing nothing. My last post was on my birthday 2 years ago. Since then, my daughter has made me a grandpa twice, my son has gotten married, and my youngest daughter has just about finished college. My wife and I have moved into our fourth decade of marriage (32 years this January) and I've been playing bass quite a lot, growing in knowledge, wisdom, insight and understanding.

I bumped into a friend from church last Friday and he mentioned that he enjoyed reading my blog. I asked him if he meant my "family" blog or my "bass" blog. He answered "both"! I was quite surprised. "How did you find my blog" I asked in an embarrassed tone. He explained how he had been looking for my wife's web site in search of a recipe and stumbled onto mine. Wow!

So...here I am with a new post. I've actually been writing 1-2 pages daily in my journal but haven't taken the time to post any of that. Maybe now that I know I have at least one reader, I'll be more faithful.

Today's journaling centered around words and actions. I was reminded of the verse "Let us not love with words and tongue but with actions and in truth"(1Jn 3:18). This verse came to mind from today's reading in Matt 21 where the man's son said he won't work in the vineyard but changed his mind and went. Martha & I were talking last night about how easily we accept the words that say Jesus came not to be served but to serve, and that the first shall be last and the last first, and all the other nice phrases that tell us that if anyone wants to be great he must be a servant, but when it comes down to actions, we resent it when people treat us like servants. We say the words that we want to be servants but we resist the actions and the posture of a servant. How many times have I thought to myself in the last few weeks, "Who does he think he's talking to?" In Matt 21, Jesus tells the chief priests and the elders that "the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people, producing the fruit of it." He also tells us to "produce fruit in keeping with repentance". So, when my actions don't match my words, which is more important? To say "I'll be a hearer of the word" and then don't do what it says, or to say "I don't like what this says" but then repent and do it?

My prayer for this Holiday season is that I will "produce fruit in keeping with repentance" and that when someone treats me like a servant, I will see it as an opportunity to put some flesh on words that are easy to say but not always easy to do.

Christmas - a sacred and secular season

I read an interesting article in the 12/25/2005 Commentary section of the OC Register. The paragraph that caught my eye said, "Charities raise more money - many times more - during this season than any other of the year (reflecting) the cultural reality that all this spending isn't so much based on greed or materialism as it is based on generosity and liberality. Money is not the object but the conduit that makes this possible." Definately something to think about.

You did WHAT???

Last night at rehearsal, one of the trombone players shared a story from an event he played at last weekend where there were several Congressional Medal of Honor winners. At his table was a Viet Nam era corpsman who told the story of how he had thrown one grenade out of a bunker and then dove on top of a second grenade. When it didn't go off, he threw it out of the bunker only to have it go off seconds later. The trombone player's response was something along the line of "I like to think I would do the same thing but I just don't know."

Rick Warren says that life is "Temporary, a Test and a Trust". I like to think of the "Test" of life as more of a "blood test" rather than a final or mid-term exam...not to see how much you know, but rather what you are made of. A thought I had after hearing the corpman's story was "how do you explain your actions AFTER the fact, when people ask you 'what were you thinking?' While I would never compare MY story to the corpman's story, I can relate to him in a most modest way because some years ago I tried to stop a shoplifter at Radio Shack. After he escaped, the manager AND the police interviewed me with questions all tainted with the tone "what were you thinking?" At the time I couldn't help but hearing the words of Jack Ryan (Harrison Ford) in Patriot Games when he explained why he rescued a British Aristocrat from IRA terrorists with, "He pissed me off". Some things just seem like a good idea at the time.

A footnote at the bottom of each other's stories...

As Woody the French Horn player shared his story of how after 30 years of not playing, he picked up his horn, re-learned how to play, and after a few months was told that he was "ready" by Bob the director, I remembered a similar story of mine from some years ago. I had been playing bass maybe a year or two and only in our church worship band. Dick Cooper, our church custodian, had a little jazz combo that was going to do a few numbers in a concert at the church. They needed someone to play bass and asked me to do it. It was quite a thrill for me to be considered and I diligently studied my parts so that I would not embarrass myself or Dick. While I have always enjoyed jazz, I had never played jazz bass and was certain that this concert would not qualify me as a jazz bassist, but it would be a fun experience. The concert went well and I felt good about it. Some weeks after the concert Dick called me again. This time it was for a wedding reception... a paying gig! What?! He sent me some jazz music education materials to study, I prepared myself as best as possible and fearfully showed up for the gig. I played timidly trying to stay out of trouble. Several songs into the set Dick came over and said, "You're doing fine. Turn up!" That was the day I became a bass player!

For me, Dick Cooper is the footnote at the bottom of that page of my life story. He validated me as a "young" musician (even though I was a middle age man) and gave me permission to proceed, expand, grow, and pursue my dream. There are others who have done similar things for me, but until yesterday, I had completely forgotten about Dick and the important part he played.

Now, a decade or so later, Dick's band leader duties have been passed down to his son Barry who still calls me to play jazz occasionally and I love doing it. I am not so much a musician as technician...not so much an artist as a hobbiest. But there is a very real possibility I'd be none of these things if it had not been for Dick opening the door for me.

I wonder...will I ever be a footnote at the bottom of someone's story?

Footnote - "A footnote at the bottom of each other's stories" comes from the November 21 reading in Listening to Your Life by Frederick Buechner.

Here I am in my "cube" working at the show Working at Concordia University, 10/2005. "Boy my career is really taking off now!!!" (a line from the show.)

The clock as a catalyst for disrespect?

During rehearsal at church this past week a story was shared about a famous conductor who slammed the door in the face of a composer because he was 5 minutes late for their appointment. The conductor chastised the man telling him to never disrespect him again by showing up late for an appointment. I believe the point of the story was that when we ignore or delay acting on the commands of God, we "disrespect" God and even show contempt for his grace and mercy. The ironic thing about the story is that it was told by a church leader who is part of a leadership team that had just "disrespected" 6 musicians by having them sit around for nearly an hour waiting for the rehearsal to start. In my life, I am often on the receiving end of disrespect in regards to waiting for other people. I was once "disrespected" by a church leader who started a rehearsal "on time", without me, even though I was 2 minutes from being ready to begin. In their attempt to non-verbally chastise me for being 2 minutes late, what they really did was damage the unity of the body that made up the band, because I was not part of the first number we rehearsed, and if you take the Bible seriously, you have to agree that when one part is missing, the whole suffers.

In reality, this whole "disrespect" thing is much bigger than a clock. It goes right to the heart of each person. As musicians we are first and foremost servants...servants of the song, servants of the other musicians, servants of the congregation, servants of God...and as Rick Warren said somewhere in his "Purpose Driven Life" book, we show our true colors as servants by how we react when someone really treats us like a servant (disrespect). I don't like to be disrespected, and I especially don't like it when it comes from an fellow servant, but the truth is, it comes with the territory. My goal is to develop a softer heart and a thicker skin (another Rick Warren'ism), trying not to disrespect folks, and trying not to be too surprised (or hurt) when I'm disrespected.

It's not about the clock...it's about the heart.

New Blog!!!

After some soul searching and discussion among friends and family, I've decided to resurrect my Blog and try to be more faithful at making contributions. I've taken my old Blog and put it in as my first entry. Now I need to start adding to it.

A concern I have is that I really live two different lives - my Christian worship and music life, and my professional technical x-ray life. How do I distinguish between these two lives in my Blog? What really pushed me over the edge was a comment made to me last Saturday night at a show I was playing at Concordia University in Irvine, CA. I made an observation to one of the cast members that I felt the director didn't give much critical feedback to the band - good or bad. Her comment was that he didn't need to give the band feedback, because "we were professionals", unlike them, who are students. I was touched that she thought of me as a professional, yet I knew in my heart that I was still a student. Then last night as I was chatting with a fellow musician at Saddleback, I asked him what he did for his "day gig". After his response he returned the question with an observation "so you play music for a living?". Again I was taken back that someone would think of me as a "professional" musician. My world has changed a lot over the years and I expect it will continue to change...at least I hope so! In any case, my goal is to make regular contributions to this Blog as a way of documenting the inevitable changes that come with a life lived as a musician AND a technician.

Matt's old Blog (Formerly Quotable Quotes)

3/18/04 - "There are a billion people in China. It's not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people. Think of it. More than a BILLION people. That means even if you're a one-in-a-million type of guy, there are still a thousand guys exactly like you." A. Whitney Brown, The Big Picture. I'm sorry, this quote just makes me smile! I guess when you consider there are less than half a billion people in the USA, that means there are only several hundred guys "just like me"!

2/17/04 - "Arrange the alphabet into words that are true in the sense that they are true to what you experience to be true. If you have to choose between words that mean more than what you have experienced and words that mean less, choose the ones that mean less because that way you leave room for your hearers to move around in and for yourself to move around in too." - F. Buechner. There are things that people speak of that seem true to them but that I have not experienced as true for me. This quote seems to validate that. Yet, I am concerned that by accepting this statement, I may be restricting truth to only what I experience. I do not want to limit myself to only those thing that I experience as truth, yet I often hear and read of things that just don't ring true in my life. Is it possible that what is true for you may not be true for me? That's a scarey concept!

2/3/04 - “Defining Christianity is portrayed not in the first mile of service, but in the second.” - Oswald Chambers. I was challenged by this statement through both words and music last weekend at a retreat with the men from Saddleback Church. It's easy to get high on retreat. It's easy to agree with the words of a sermon. It's easy to be inspired by music. But it's a whole different thing to come home and make it work. The first step may be a big one, but the second step is often hugh!

1/28/04 - "An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered." G.K. Chesterton. I wonder how many adventures I've missed out on in my life due to wrong consideration?

1/23/04 - I recently heard a quote from the Viet Nam era that said, "Rather than with bombs or napalm, we should be fighting this war with a knife. We need to know who we are killing. Killing the wrong person can be very costly." Isn't that true in our personal lives as well? In fact, we need to do battle with a scalpal and the skill of a surgeon, carefully examining each person, each situation, each special circumstance, rendering judgement with precision and care. A poorly chosen word, statement or action is so hard to retract. Jesus said "be wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." Hard to do with a sub-machine gun!

11/21/03 - A recent "Soapbox" article in "Bass Player Magazine" (12/03) said, "it is the effort that is the enlightenment. If it makes you feel good and alive, and if you have a passion for it, continue with your efforts and you will have already succeeded." This reminded me of a quote from John Lennon. "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans". It also reminds me of another quote (I can't recall right now...I'll look it up) "Writing a novel is like going on a car trip at night. You know where you'll end up but through the whole trip you can only see as far as your headlight shine". These are all good reminders that the "means" are at least as important as the "ends". Crossing the finish line only counts as a victory if you ran the whole course as set out. I've been processing a lot lately about my "Calling" or my "Dream" or what ever you want to call it and I'm coming to the realization that I may never achieve my dream but the process of pursuing it can be quite an achievement in itself.

10/4/03 - Why is this recall good for California? Two reasons. First, it sends a message to the political parties that they are responsible for governing the WHOLE state, not just those who their party represents. Like C.E. Koop said when he was US Surgeon General, "I'm the Surgeon General, not the Chaplin General". If they don't fairly represent the interests of all the people, they run the risk of being asked to leave in a not too gentle way. Second, it sends a message to the people that they don't have to just sit around and complain. They have the power (within limits) to encourage and enable change. This recall is one of the most amazing political developments ever to occur in California. In a few days, we'll see if it will move us to the next step.

9/25/03 - Finished a great book by Hugh Hewitt. "In, But Not Of" is a must read for Christian young people who want to make a difference in the world. I am challenged by much of what he says in this book and have bought several copies to give to my kids and friends. The two biggest things I read were, 1) DO NOT HAVE ANY CREDIT CARD DEBT! I wish my kids could grow up knowing the freedom of no credit card debt. 2) Review the core principles of your life on a regular basis. I just returned from a retreat in New Mexico and brought back a lot of enthusiasm for change in my life. Where will I be in 3 months, 6 months, 1 year? I need to committ to reviewing that enthusiasm and renewing the energy to act on things that need action.

9/14/03 - Rick Warren from Saddleback church announced in his sermon today that his book "The Purpose Driven Life" has sold over 7 million copies. As a result of this financial windfall, he and wife Kay have decided to make the following steps. 1) Committ to no change in their lifestyle. No new house, new car, no change. 2) As of July 2003, he stopped taking a salary from the church. 3) A foundation was being set up to handle the distribution of this new income in a responsible manner. 4) Rick added up all the money he had been paid in the last 25 years at Saddleback and he gave it all back to the church. Additionally, he challenged Saddleback church to give a billion dollars to the work of God in the world. I don't know if that was a billion per year or over 10 years or what, but I found his attitude to his new found wealth to be very refreshing. After all, how much money does it take to make someone happy? Personally, I don't believe you can buy happiness with money. I'm with you Rick. Way to go!

Quotes

The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know. It's almost scary. The road ahead of you gets longer, not shorter.

Take your passion and love and try to play with as much class and originality as your modest endowment will allow.

I like bass players with feel, pocket, precision and tone. Only precision and tone are quantifiable; the others make up the ten percent difference between being a really good player and being a joy to play with.

The keys are attitude, simplicity, sound, taste, time and versatility.

Play a song on the bass rather than just play bass. How can I enhance the song?

In the context of a song, listeners shouldn't necessarily know they're listening to the bass, but they should know it's moving them. Not "Wow, that's a great bass part"; instead, "Wow, that feels great but I don't know why. There's something on the bottom that's making me go crazy."

IMITATE, ASSIMILATE, INNOVATE

Nobody notices me until I'm not there.

I basically try to make the other musicians sound as good as possible. I try not to get in their way, and I try to lay a good bed for them so they can do whatever they want on top of it.

It's not how many notes you play; it's the feel you create.

The bass player is the house into which all the other players come to find shelter and have a good time. If you forget that responsibility, you're leaving everybody without shelter.

Some things that I feel are boring or uninspired, really sound great on tape.

The music that makes me think, "Gee-I'm so talented" usually bores the living **** out of others.

The weird thing about bass is that the more notes you play, the more it hurts you. You've got to find the right notes.

Our goal is to encourage people to be excellent. There's always a tendency for us to say, "That's good enough." Not only is "good enough" not good enough, we can offer the whole world the very best there is to offer.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." (2 Cor 4:7)

"The one thing all of us must never lose sight of is what we are called to -- worship. Musical style, personal expression, playing style, singing style, effects, everything has to be run through the grid of "does this help or hinder people from entering the presence of God and worshiping Him for who He is."

"If we get up on Sunday morning and play awesome music and I rip on my bass, and the lead guitarist and drummer and all of us are just spectacular as musicians, but the people leave thinking "Wow, what an awesome band." We have failed miserably. The people should be saying "Wow, what an awesome worship time!"

"Doing music you don't like or find inspiring...that's the price we pay for the rare occasions when it's magical."

"Remember that a bass player has to make everyone else sound good, and sometimes your only reward is the satisfaction of knowing you achieved that goal."

"There lies a challenge in every bass performance. The pocket, the phrasing, giving each note its proper value and execution... the heart and soul of the performance."

"When I'm hiring for a show I look for someone who is a superb reader, plays impeccably in tune, follows the conductor, fits the style of music, has a great attitude, and is a pleasure to work with."

"Music is a deep thing that can always get deeper. None of us has ever walked off the bandstand thinking we've played the show the best it can be played."

"I have found that though the ways in which I can make myself useful are few, yet the work open to me is endless...I long to accomplish a great and noble task. But it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. The world is moving along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes but also by the aggregate of tiny pushes of each honest worker."

"It is inbred in us that we have to do exceptional things for God; but we have not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things, to be holy in the mean streets, among the mean people, and that is not learned in five minutes."

"All music is divided between the oom and the papa. Bass is the oom. If you're not comfortable beeing the oom, don't feel embarrassed to go find another instrument."

"When you play even the simplest bass line, you reveal something about yourself. What story are you telling?"

"There's a right way and a wrong way to play...the right way is clearly defined, and the wrong way is everything else."

"Rather than 'worship leaders', we are to be 'lead worshipers', not pushing people into the Holy of Holies, but going in first and drawing others to follow us in."

"A good bass player needs to have an uncanny grasp of the completely obvious."

"No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as it is from our standpoint; therefore we must be saved by forgiveness."

"Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights extend, but you can make the whole trip that way."

Matt 5:8 "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God."

Rom 12:4-5 "Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others."

Matt 7:3-5 "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."
John 10:12-13 "But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them. "The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep. (NKJ)

Eccl 10:10 "If the ax is dull and its edge unsharpened, more strength is needed but skill will bring success." (NIV)

Luke 11:52 "Woe to you experts in the law, because you have taken away the key to knowledge. You yourselves have not entered, and you have hindered those who were entering." (NIV) "Blessings to you experts in the law, because you possess the key to knowledge. You yourselves have entered, and you have encouraged those who were entering."