"Imitate, Assimilate, Innovate"

In response to some recent dramatic happenings in my life, I have been reminded of the importance of the "process" in coming to some level of competence in any area of life. As I pondered my own "process", the words in the title above came to me in a clear way this morning. In my vocation (dental x-ray) I am considered by some to be an innovator. As a musician, I am still very much an imitator and am in the long slow process of assimilating the information and skill that I have been exposed to over these many years.

Recently a close friend introduced me as a "Renaissance Man". I actually had to research what that was to determine if I should accept or decline the title. I determined that in general terms, I guess am something of a Renaissance Man. However, in the purest terms, I am at best a "wannabe" and at worst an imposter. However, I am honored to be seen by some in that light and accept it as a fairly accurate description of me in the most general sense.

As a person who dabbles with some success in both the arts and the sciences, I can clearly see several people in my life who were key in establishing me on these paths. The first was my boss and mentor, Jim Everett. He brought me under his wing, taught me, trained me, nurtured me, and gave me great examples to "imitate" as I was learning and growing in the field of dental radiography. As I moved to the "assimilate" phase, he was always there to direct me, challenge me, catch me, or even let me fall. Without the valuable experience of the many years working as an apprentice under such a master craftsman, it is clear that the labels "Innovator" or "Renaissance Man" would not enter peoples minds as a description of me.

In a similar manner, my main influences in the arts were Walt Harrah and Stan Endicott. Walt was the first real worship pastor that I worked with as I began my journey as a bass player in the early 90's. He, like Jim Everett, gave me much to imitate, and allowed me to learn my craft literally at the expense of himself, the close friends that made up his worship band, and his congregation (who he served so selflessly.) Walt always gave clear instruction and was gentle in his correction. He knew what he wanted and it was always easy to follow him as he led with passion and confidence. He also understood the value of prayer and study, insisting on 30 minutes of spiritual preparation prior to any worship service, even if it meant cutting the rehearsal short. Walt was truly an innovator, as more than once he came up to the stage following a message and passed out a hand written chart that he had quickly created in response to what he had just heard preached. I will remember forever the joy he (and we) experienced in hearing one of his compositions played for the first time by his friends and co-laborers in the worship team. The years I spent as an apprentice working under Walt were invaluable in my pursuit of musical competence.

Stan on the other hand, was very much the opposite of Walt. As an innovator in a completely difference sense, Stan was never one to "play the ink". He was a master at leading the band (and the congregation) from section to section in an almost free form style. More than once he would turn to us with a smile and a "thumb up" indicating he wanted to take the song up a step. On the fly, the team he had assembled would follow his lead, take it up notch, and watch the energy soar to a new level. Knowing that he had that level of confidence in me to follow his lead was an incredible gift he gave me many times. He also had the amazing ability to simply look over at me and communicate with his eyes the words "you're doing great!". I miss working with Stan.

I also miss working with Walt, and with Jim. The 3 of them have left their mark on me in more ways than I can describe on this page. Yet that mark has been critical in helping me move from imitator, to assimilator (is that a word?) and in some respects, innovator (of sorts.) It's humbling to look back at the Hand of God on my life, and it's equally humbling to look forward to how God may want to use what I've imitated, assimilated, and possibly innovated, for His purposes and His glory.

Bass Playing

The most recent issue of Bass Player Magazine (Holiday 2008) has some amazing quotes that I desperately need to get written down. Some of them have been literally transforming (#1 for example) while others simply inspiring. Either way, here they are.

"...when five people are having a conversation, usually one person speaks at a time while the other four listen. When five people are playing music in a conversational manner, everyone's speaking and listening all at once. You have to listen more than you play to make sure what you' re "saying" fits in with the conversation as a whole and provides both relevance and consonance." "...music occasionally allows itself to be channeled by certain members of society for the betterment of the whole." - Richard C. Cushing, Memphis, TN

"The bassist is the lighthouse AND the sea." - Joe Iaquinto

"...bass players have the unique opportunity to live inside the song: really listening to what's going on, reacting to the chords, applying thought, partnering with the drummer." - Steve Peete, Chandler, AZ

"I know very few bass players now who have weak personalities. Cats playing bass are pretty outspoken human beings!" - Will Lee

"(in the next 20 years)... an era of threadbare culture, already descending, will worsen. Case in point: the appallingly corrupt American Idol and Making the Band (where there is no "band" and the "singers" - few if any of whom can sing without the intervention of AutoTune - are clearly unconcerned about music only the thrusting asses and spastec dance steps) point to a future that will worsen before it improves." - Anthony Jackson

"We need to communicate a need for sincerety, depth, and originality, and we can do this by simply being those things." - Tal Wilkenfeld

The "Desire of my heart"?

Yesterday was a great day at our church. We started a new "band-led" contemporary worship service, and I am in the band. The worship elder came up to me before the service and commented that we have waited 7 1/2 years for this. I thought to myself, "I have been waiting a lot longer than that." Doing the math, I determined that I started playing Saturday nights at Irvine Presbyterian Church about 15 years ago, because there was no contemporary worship at Trinity. In the years since then, I have played at many MANY churches, looking for a place where Martha & I could worship and minister in the unique ways that God has gifted us. I have spent many MANY quiet times questioning God on how he puts the desire and passion in our hearts in the first place, then he promises to give us the "desire of our heart", then he delays so long in actually giving us that desire. The "desire of my heart" that I've articulated many times is to be in an "effective and meaningful worship ministry in my home church". It seems I may finally be on the brink of experiencing the fulfillment of that desire after over 15 years. I don't want to get too excited but I have to admit that yesterday was an exciting day for me. I am very hopeful.

Now, the real question is, do I really know my heart and what it desires? I've heard it said many times, "Be careful what you ask for because you might just get it." Lord have mercy!

We are all in this together!

“In the long run, there can be no real joy for anybody until there is joy finally for us all.” Frederick Buechner

One morning last week, Dana Charter (who works for my good friend Matt Montgomery) stopped by my lab with coffee and donuts. He had a few questions about my digital camera and since it’s the one I recommended they buy, he thought I might be able to help him out. As we were chatting, my first patient arrived, so I started the photos on him while I continued my conversation with Dana. After a few minutes I felt a bit uncomfortable that I was ignoring my patient so I explained to him what was going on, and I introduced Dana to him as a “competitor”. Before I could qualify that his lab is 20 miles away so we’re really NOT competitors, Dana interrupted with the declaration, “I’m offended by that! We are not competitors, we are colleagues!” I smiled sheepishly, acknowledged my mistake, and we continued on with our “collegial” discussion.

Jump back in time with me. It’s about 30 years ago. My lab was located about 10 miles south in Newport Beach. It never really was a successful venture and eventually the owner moved it to the area around Huntington Beach, where he thought it could do better. Shortly after the move, a group of Newport Beach doctors decided to fill the void by opening a lab for their patients, but soon realized that there just wasn’t enough business in the area to support it. So they decided to offer “deep discounts” to patients who would be willing to drive the long distance to Newport Beach. I started getting calls from patients and doctors asking me to “match” the Newport price, which I declined to do. I don’t mind a little competition, I just want it to occur on a level playing field. The patients from Newport Beach won’t come to my lab to save money because their doctors refer them to the lab where they are financially invested. Since my doctors have no financial interest in my lab, they are tempted to send patients where it the cheapest.

Needless to say, this concerned me. I have always felt “collegial” to the labs that are around me and have no problem sending a patient to lab that’s closer to their work or home. But this situation with Newport had moved us from colleagues to competitors. I looked into what I could do to “level” the playing field but discovered I had very few options. I would sigh when patient would come in with a Newport slip, or when a doctor would call about a patient’s x-rays only to discover they had gone to the Newport lab. Time went by, the doctors divested themselves and eventually the lab was sold to a gal I know and considered a colleague. Relieved, I hoped that she would see the “error” of their “dual tier” fee policy and do the right thing. Unfortunately she didn’t, she couldn’t.

Not long ago, another lab moved into her area, giving her some stiff competition. As the economy in Orange County lagged, she eventually had to relocate to another area. The new location did not solve her financial problems and yesterday was her last day of business. I stopped by her lab today to see if she had anything for sale that might be useful to me. When I left, I shook her hand and told her that I was sorry things didn’t work out for her. But I wasn’t really sorry. Inside I was happy. After all these years I was vindicated. But why did I feel bad for her? Why was it so hard to enjoy this “victory”? I remembered the scene in the movie “You’ve Got Mail” where the female character verbally rips into her competitor, then experiences the regret that often goes along with verbal outbursts. I remembered the line from that movie, “It’s not personal, it’s business!” Even though my competition had been defeated, I felt bad that a friend had failed, had been hurt, and would continue to hurt over the next weeks, months, even years.

As I write this, I’m wondering if there isn’t a way we can compete with each other and still remain colleagues. Many of us succeed in doing this. But some don’t. The rules of business don’t always mesh cleanly with the rules of collegiality. I do feel bad for my colleague, the same way I think an athlete feels bad when their arch rival forfeits an event due to an injury. It’s nice to win but it feels so much better to win in a fair fight. And when you lose in a fair fight, it motivates you to work harder, do better, come back to fight another day. In an unfair fight, there are no winners, only losers.

The quote at the beginning of this story is from my favorite author. His words ran over and over in my mind today as I drove home from my colleague’s now defunct lab. We are all in this together. In the long run….

Do I Want People to Like Me?

The head of the music department at Irvine Valley College (where I play bass in the Jazz Ensemble) sent the following email yesterday. "Colleagues, The 5th annual IVC Jazz Picnic was a smashing success. The band played better than they ever have for the picnic, the guest ensemble was terrific." This was a very encouraging word with only one exception...I didn't play for the concert! Because of Tina's college graduation, I had to miss the concert and the director found a sub for me. I'm pleased that the concert went well and I hope the reason they did so well was because they worked hard over the last few weeks of the semester. But the thought that nags me is that this is virtually the same band that played all year EXCEPT for me. Was the substitute bass player the reason they did so well? Was my absence a catalyst for their excellence? Or was this just a nice encouraging note to the band that would have read the same even if I had played? There's no way to know.

I've been reading a book by Donald Miller (author of Blue Like Jazz) and in the chapter I read yesterday, he answered an interview question about why he wrote his most recent book with the following statement, "I am broken... I like to write... but basically, subconsciously, I just want people to like me." Is that statement true of me? Do I play music because I want people to like me? I know I am broken...I like to play music...I want people to like my playing...if they like my playing does that mean they like me? I know I've often felt out of place around many of the musicians I play with. Most of them are professionals with experiences that only happen to me in my dreams. But I've always felt my life experience validates me and that I have experiences in work, home, family, faith, etc. that they may never have. So I try to make up for my lack of professional musical experience by trying to connect with people on a more relational level. I want people to accept me, to value me, because of who I am as a person and not hold my lack of musical professionalism against me. I guess I DO want people to like me.

After hearing Miller's response to his question, the interviewer leaned back in his chair, paused for a moment and said, "You aren't alone".

A Week in the Life of a Volunteer Musician

My friend Ron Kobayashi recently did a piece in the OC Register (4/13/08) on a day in the life of a jazz musician entitled "A Good Gig, If You Can Swing It". He walked us through a typical day in his life as he worked to balance the "music part of the music business" with the business part. After reading his story, I thought about my life as I work to balance my day job with my volunteer musician schedule. Since I am currently in the "spring musical" season (a particularly busy time for me), I decided to do my own piece, "A Week In The Life of a Volunteer Musician".

In my day job, I am fortunate to work a 40 hour week, 8-5, Monday-Friday. I live fairly close to work so I don’t usually have more than a 30 minute commute each way. My work week began as usual last Monday (4/7) awakened by the alarm at 5:45 am. I generally hit the snooze button once or twice, but try to make a habit of getting out of bed by 6:00. After my shower and shave, I head downstairs to check my email, grab a cup of coffee, and sit down for my "quiet time". As a volunteer musician, I primarily play bass in Christian worship bands. Since I can be considered a "worship leader", it is important that my heart be properly aligned with the God that I help lead people to worship, so I spend around 30 minutes each day pondering inspirational materials, reading 1-2 chapters in the Bible, writing a page or two in my journal, and praying over a list of people and events that are important to me. At some point during those 30 minutes, my wife Martha joins me in the family room with her coffee, Bible and journal, and we share part of our "quiet time" together. At 7:00 we move to the kitchen for a quick breakfast. This is a tradition we have enjoyed since our children were very young and my wife was a "stay at home" mom. Our kids are grown now and Martha leaves for work shortly after I do each day but we still "break fast" together every weekday at 7:00 am.

My work day goes uneventfully (as it often does), and I head for home around 5:30 pm. After a quick dinner, I say goodby to Martha and head off for a rehearsal with the "Edsels", a rock and roll band that is preparing for an event this Friday. Things go well, I get home around 10:00 pm and head up to bed. I need my 8 hours of sleep, especially this week!

Fortunately, this particular week has no Tuesday evening rehearsals. I share bass duties with 2 other musicians at Saddleback Church on Saturday nights but because I am playing a musical at Trinity this Saturday night, I am not on the schedule at Saddleback and don’t need to attend the Tuesday evening rehearsal. I enjoy a relaxing dinner, some time in front of the TV (I should practice for the upcoming musicals but tonight I’m lazy) and I head for bed by 10:00 pm. Wednesday is also an off night. We go out after work, grab some Mexican food (at a waitress service restaurant) and enjoy a quiet evening together. Before going to bed, I load my car with all the gear I’ll need for tomorrow. I have a lot going on over the next few days and don’t want to forget anything.

Thursday starts off like every other work day, but changes quickly. After breakfast, I head off to Saddleback Church where I play for the Thursday morning Women’s Bible Study. We rehearse our music, play from 9:15 to around 9:40, and I leave just as the morning speaker begins her message. Usually I head off to work but today is different. I have an 11:00 am meeting at Trinity so I decide to drop in at a local hospital to visit a friend who has just had surgery. I spend about 20 minutes with him, arrive a few minutes late for my meeting, take care of business there and head down the freeway to be ready to work by 1:00 pm. After work I meet Martha for dinner near my office then head off down the freeway to my jazz class. I play bass in the Irvine Valley College Jazz Ensemble and we rehearse from 7-10 pm on Thursday nights. Tonight goes well as we prepare for our concert in early May. I get home a little later than usual, leave my car loaded with gear, and head up to bed. Tomorrow starts a very busy weekend.

After work on Friday, Martha and I meet for another quick dinner, this time near Trinity so that I will be at church in time for the 6:00 pm dress rehearsal of a musical that will be presented that weekend. After rehearsal I leave my gear set up because Saturday morning from 9 am - noon, I have another rehearsal in the same place for a different musical that will be presented in two weeks. After the Saturday morning rehearsal, I inform the drummer that I will not be able to make the Edsels rehearsal that afternoon. I have to go home and clean my pool because the "Santa Ana winds" have left it a mess! Fortunately, I was able to get my neighbor’s gardener to do may lawns today so only the pool needs my attention. After the pool is cleaned, I catch up on a little reading and go upstairs for a quick shower before I head off to Trinity for the 5:30 call time for tonight’s production. There are a few glitches and unfortunately the band’s performance is not as good as it could be. Tomorrow will be better. A late dinner, a little TV and it’s off to bed. Sundays I get to sleep in a little but need to be ready to play for the morning worship by 7:45. I play 2 services, get lunch with Martha and some friends, grab a short nap in the afternoon and am in my place ready to play by 5:30 that night. The show goes much better! Everyone is happy, I clean up my gear, say goodbye, and head home for another late dinner.

Laying in bed on Sunday night, I ponder the upcoming week and review my schedule... Monday night the Edsels rehearse again, Tuesday night has a Saddleback rehearsal, Wednesday night I need to work on the "Eden" show that starts in less than a week, Thursday is Saddleback in the morning and IVC Jazz Ensemble in the evening, Friday night is the Edsels gig, Saturday morning the PRES Club plays the Trinity Pancake Breakfast with Ron Kobayashi (that will be fun!), clean the pool and do the yards in the afternoon, Saddleback in the evening (I think I’ll trade with someone so that I can have the night off), Trinity again on Sunday morning and the "Eden" show starts tech week on Sunday evening. I fall asleep thankful that I have a great day job as well as a very loving and supportive wife who allows me to keep such a busy music calendar.

Saddleback Church in Lake Forest

After many years of playing at Saddleback, I finally got a picture of me on stage! Playing flute is Greg Vail, Mike Pelzman is on keyboards, and Jimi Seville is in the back on B3. Not seen are Drew Hester on drums, Blake Aaron on guitar, and Brandon Muchow leading.